


Love And Confidence Are Miraculous Things

by ImpassionedEcentric21



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:25:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpassionedEcentric21/pseuds/ImpassionedEcentric21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This a long winded GamTav fic that I have been working on. Hope you like it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1- Introduction

Your name is Tavros Nitram and you have just moved to Idaho—of all places—with your older brother, Rufioh. Why he chose Idaho, you are not sure, your Hispanic blood would not do very well here since it is so cold most seasons. Though you are pretty sure the death of your father had something to do with it. Honestly, you were pretty taken aback and crushed by Dad’s death, but not as much as Rufioh was. Dad was his best and only friend most days, it hurt him more than you could ever know since he and you were never that close. It hurt, sure, but it didn’t upset you as much as you thought, you were the most level-headed one, you always were.  


Or so you claimed, honestly, you looked up to Rufioh, even though that was a mistake in itself for most things. He was really reckless and found himself in trouble often; he most certainly cared for you though. He always has. His bravery and confidence is on a level you wish you had, that was the reason you looked up to him. He’s changed so much since Dad’s death, as have you…in ways you wished you hadn’t. Things are different here than they were in Texas and you weren’t sure you could cope without at least one friend…now you didn’t have any.  


The summer was now drawing to a close, so Rufioh had signed you up for school, he let your pick your classes and everything! They had an agriculture program there, which you were excited about, but honestly, the idea of a new school scared you. Being paraplegic wasn’t going to help either. Getting used to this wheel-chair was going to be a task all in itself; you didn’t need to get bullied for it on top of that.  
Rufioh didn’t have enough money to buy you prosthetics due to the fact he spent so much on moving, so you were stuck in this chair. On the bright side, you would have incredible upper-arm strength. You crack a very weak smile at yourself as if that made the situation better, unpacking your things, trying not to reminisce or dwell on one thing for too long, that usually ended in bad results, or crying if you were being blunt. Rufioh was assisting on account of his guilty conscience, he was the reason you were stuck in this chair and he would not forgive himself, even though it wasn’t his fault at all. No one saw it coming, how could he?  


That driver barreled out of nowhere and hit the passenger side where you and your Dad were sitting, your father died on impact and you watched it happen. You were glad Rufioh wasn’t awake for that, you were paralyzed instantly, your legs were mangled by the weight of the car hitting your legs full force, and Rufioh was rendered unconscious by the sudden jerk. It had been a hard summer of recovery and mourning, but you both decided it was best to start fresh in a new town would be best so you could try and heal, figuratively and literally. You had been zoned out for a long time, your brother had noticed and snapped you out of your stupor when he asked you if you were all right or if you needed to rest, you responded quietly back, saying you were fine. But in all honesty, you were not, you wanted things to be normal again, but they never would. The pain would just hurt less as time progressed.


	2. Gamzee Makara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we meet Gamzee Makara.

Your name is Gamzee Makara and you just visited your father in jail, he had been arrested for aggravated assault—again—so your older brother Kurloz was now taking care of you. Honestly, you were used to it at this point, your father being a traveling rapper, he got himself in all sorts of trouble, and the bad temper that runs in your family doesn't help either. Of course by temper you mean being viciously bipolar. It didn't help that your father was a raging alcoholic either; substance abuse and bipolar disorders were like the devil’s playthings, it made everything so much worse for someone with this disorder to abuse alcohol recklessly like your father does.  


The men in your family dealt with their disorder differently, Kurloz became mute, and smoked weed daily, your father drank himself to the point of madness, and you smoked weed like it was going out of motherfucking style. Although weed was a drug, it was a calming agent, it helped fight off the plaguing late-night thoughts and gruesome nightmares. Thankfully, due to that fact, you have a card and everything, your brother too, and as long as you had Faygo, ICP, and marijuana life was a motherfucking miracle.  


Sure, your grades were shit by the time you finished Jr. Year, but you didn't care really. You didn't see why you needed to feel motivated to finish out that bullshit. All you were to the system was a problem child who was just a number to them. They didn’t care for your success or care about your ambitions, no one did. You are just another little test-taker to them; you make them more money, that’s it. But you are passionate, and you love art, you draw frequently. It helps clear your thoughts, and over the years you have gotten better, and better. Art was the only class you gave a shit about, the only one you wanted to give a shit about.  


Your art teacher loves you; she knows more about you than your own father does. She helped you through the tough shit and helped you care about other classes. Sure you still got shitty grades regardless but, it was never below a D so that was an improvement you guessed. She was like the mother you never had growing up. Though you never expressed that feeling out loud, you think she knew, and it was a warm motherfucking feeling. You almost wished she was your Mom, but you were pretty sure that she wouldn’t want you. You were too fucked up and she deserved to be at peace away from you.  


You were damaged goods, unlovable, and had been told so by your father on many occasions. Not forgetting to mention how much of a disgrace and a mistake you were. He always preferred your brother and that made you resent him a little, so things between you and him had been tense for a long motherfucking time. You both avoided it unless Dad was home, making you pin your frustration out against each other. Other than that, you kept to yourselves, and fended for yourselves, your father’s money keeping you well-fed and provided at the least.  


Speaking of, you shuffled into the kitchen and grabbed yourself some snacks to munch on. You are a 17 year old boy who is about 6 ft now and still growing, you needed food like you needed to motherfuckin’ breathe. And due to the weed your smoked prior, everything is going to taste like a fucking miracle orgasamed in your mouth so you didn't give a fuck what your were eating. What were you eating anyways? Whatever this weird Asian shit Kurloz’s girlfriend, Meulin brought over and some leftover pie. Fuckin’ miraculous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave critiques.


	3. Chapter 3- Orientation (Part 1-Tavros)

After getting settled at the new place, a few weeks had gone by already, so today’s date crept up unexpectedly, when your brother woke you up today you shot up in panic, sighing when you remember where you placed your wheelchair. Looking up at your brother, rubbing your eyes as you did, you asked him politely to retrieve it for you. He did so and you thanked him kindly, he then left your room so you could change. You did so with gumption, ready to start your day; you wrapped a blanket around your waist and positioned yourself to land in your chair, landing in it with a slight thwump sound. Readjusting your blanket, you headed to your dresser, grabbing some boxer briefs and struggling to get them on for a good five minutes before finally managing it. You then go to your closet, grabbing a nice brown dress shirt, setting it in your lap as you strip out of your PJ shirt, throwing it on your bed.  


You finally change and button up your shirt, grabbing some pants and grimacing at them, you hated having to do this because it was so much of a struggle but you would never tell Rufioh that, he’d feel so terrible and try to help, making it extremely awkward for you. So you decided it’d be best to keep it to yourself. Besides, after a while you’d get used to it, and even better, pull-ups would be easier with all the upper arm strength you built up. You manage a weak smile about that, trying to make it a plus even though it really wasn’t for the price paid. You slid your lower half slightly off the chair, pulling and yanking at the pants, managing to get them on, then zipping them up, sighing in relief as you shakily helped your body back into the chair, tying the ends of the jeans and putting the blanket over the stumps that used to be your legs.  


A puff of breath escaped your lips as your stomach flip-flopped in a cocktail of nerves and excitement all at once. Wheeling yourself to the door, you turned it and let yourself out. Sighing as you reached the stairs, “rUFIOH, uH…cOULD YOU-?” once he heard your voice, he was upstairs, right at your side. He wordlessly picked you up from the chair, holding onto you like you were the most precious item in the universe, it was so gentle and careful, you assumed because, one he couldn’t bear the thought of looking at you without becoming an emotional wreck, and two because he didn’t want to hurt you, sometimes he forgot his own strength. He finally reached the downstairs couch, setting you on it, then going to retrieve your chair, picking it up with ease and setting it at your side, you squiggled your body to reach it; Rufioh hesitated, he wasn’t sure if he should help or not but despite your lack of strength, you managed yourself just fine into the chair and he wheeled you out.  


He asked you if you were excited in a voice that seemed distant, but you knew he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know so you nodded weakly. He ruffled your hair and gave you a half-hearted, reassuring smile. Thankfully, the school was just down the block so no need to drive. You two made small talk on the way over but nothing of importance until you arrived, then the talk stopped as a car pulled up, it was blaring some non-sensical rap, and the car wasn’t even pulled over before a lanky guy in an ICP shirt, clown makeup, a back-pack, and baggy pants got out, slamming the door behind him and storming out, the car tires squealed and it tore off into the distance, your heart quickened and your breathing stopped for a minute, and it took a while to calm yourself, though you were still pretty shaken, Rufioh didn’t look like he was handling well either.  


The boy who had gotten out of the car had approached you both and looked at you curiously before he spoke, “YoU mOtHeRfUcKeRs oKaY? yOu lOoK lIkE yOu SaW a MoThErFuCkIn’ gHoSt oR sOmE sHiT….” His voice was gravelly as if he had been smoking way too many cigarettes, but it was rather calming in an odd way, you felt relaxed immediately and nodded.

“y-yEAH, tHANK YOU.” The boy gave a lopsided, care-free grin, as if there was no trouble in the world.

“AlL rIgHt ThEn mOtHeRfUcKeR, sEe yA aRoUnD.” He gave a small wave and shoved his hands in his pockets, strolling off into the school somewhere. Your brother showed obvious disgust for someone like that, but you were curious, how could he go from belligerently angry, to happy-go-lucky in a matter of seconds like that? It was mind-boggling to you. You blinked and your brother started to wheel you up to the main office, apparently to sign you up for school when you had sworn he already did.  
Given the opportunity to be alone with your thoughts as Rufioh was doing your paperwork, your mind wandered back to the boy, you didn’t see him for very long but you could still see the bag under his eyes, how he smelled like weed and Doritos, the way his black mop was curled outwards in a haphazard fashion, how his pants were so worn they had holes everywhere, paint and bleach stains all over them as well, how intricately his face paint had been done, as if an artist did it, his crooked smile and the way he- 

Rufioh snapped you out of your thought and you held back an embarrassed flush, looking up at him as he told you how to still participate in P.E with your disability, you nodded as it was explained, and you were listening, your thoughts just started to wander as you did. You couldn’t stop thinking about him, not in an attracted to him way, just in a curious way…what was his name? Was he an artist or did someone else do his face-paint? What was the backpack for? Who was in the car with him? Maybe you’d see him again sometime, so you could get those answers. Well, you could dream right?


	4. Chapter 4- Orientation- Gamzee

Your phone blared with a loud bicycle horn noise and you woke immediately, grumbling under your breath as you looked at it. “Wake up Gamzee. You have orientation and I don’t want to drive you, so hurry your ass up.” You let out a disgruntled huff of breath and rolled out of bed, flopping on your messy floor in a pile of dirty clothes, you honestly didn’t really give a fuck about cleaning your room, nor did you feel motivated to. Shit had just got really motherfucking real these past weeks; your Dad got home after spending a year in jail, and got off with “good behavior”. You call some fucking bullshit on that piss-poor excuse of a cover-up. You knew your Dad probably just bribed his way out again, but now that your Dad was back, Kurloz and you had been at each other throats again, you’re pretty sure you both would have killed each other but your Dad broke it up. He didn’t want to clean up the mess.  


Him being back brought out so much anger and frustration for his absence in your life, along with many other things, even though it always seemed he was never there for you in your life, he was always present in Kurloz's. It pissed you off to a level you couldn’t even explain. And it definitely didn’t help he would be physically and verbally abusive to you when he drank, in fact, your pretty motherfucking sure that anybody who treated anyone like your father did, never feel good about themselves, and probably won’t for the rest of their miserable life. You never have felt good about yourself because nothing you ever did compared to anything Kurloz did. He was just like your Dad in every way possible except the whole drunken asshole thing; he was just an asshole all by himself. You on the other hand, besides the hair, eyes, love of rap, and a severe bipolar disorder, had nothing in common with that fucking asshole. Speak of the motherfucking devil, he was pounding on the door, you weren’t sure if you should be concerned and scared, or silent.  


He burst into your room before you could think, picking you up by your hair and telling you to get ready now before he made you. He wanted you to leave for a few days, saying he was sick of you taking up space in the house so he asked you to pack up some shit and leave for a while.  


You just nodded and gave him a soft okay. He snorted and called you a push-over, slamming your door, you flinched involuntarily, grabbing a bag and quickly shoving as much essential shit you could find. Food you stashed, Art shit you hid, clothes that will keep you warm at night, blankets, your pipe, card, weed, deodorant, mirror, hair-ties, your phone and it’s charger, and face-paint. You were motherfuckin’ set. Now all you needed was some Faygo for the road.  


Fucking thankfully for you, your makeup you forgot to clean off yesterday, still looked just fine, and what wasn’t, couldn’t be noticed except by you. You grabbed a few bottles of Faygo from the fridge and put them in your bag; you were sure that they would be lukewarm by the time a few days passed but they could be easily refrigerated again. That is if you could find a place to crash, Karkat moved away over the summer so he couldn’t help, maybe Equius? Nah. The last time you crashed there his Dad got pissed at the way you spoke and reamed him out for his choice in friends, then Equius told you his Dad was forcing him not to be friends with you anymore. Wait, maybe Nepeta could—wait shit, that’s right, Nepeta is Meulin’s sister … damn it! Oh well, they probably wouldn’t let you motherfuckin’ stay either.  


You understood. You weren’t the best when it came to manners. You had no fuckin’ idea how “normal families” acted because yours was motherfucking  
insane, and broken. Kurloz and you have two different mothers you have never met, your father has been in and out of jail since you could talk, yet he has somehow managed to be there for Kurloz but not for you. You’ve thought about being emancipated but un-fucking-fortunately for you, your father has a god damn good lawyer; and you, not being a child of very good etiquette, couldn’t weasel your way out of his custody without hard proof, which you didn’t have because your Dad would kill you before you could get the chance to show off any. Not only that but, it would make life so much more motherfucking difficult. You growled in frustration, slamming your fist against the wall roughly, not giving a fuck what happened to you, or the wall. Your father just so happened to walk by as you did that and he smacked the motherfucking bejesus out of your face.

“DON’T MESS UP MY MOTHERFUCKIN’ PLACE YOU UNGRATEFUL SHIT!” he growled. “GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS IN THE CAR, SINCE YOUR ASS TOOK TOO GOD DAMN LONG I HAVE TO DRIVE YOU. HERE,” He slammed the papers to register for classes and to get your locker into your chest roughly, “NOW GET YOUR ASS IN THE CAR AND STEP ON IT BEFORE I SHOVE MY FOOT IN IT TO GET YOU IN!”  
You did so begrudgingly, grabbing your shoes and putting them on as you get in, your father does too, starting it up and peeling out violently, nothing you weren’t used to. The car ride was quiet for a few minutes until he turned on some rap, it was blaring into your ears so loud that you were sure you would be deaf by the time you got out, not that you cared, at least if you were deaf you couldn’t hear your dad yell at you anymore. He drove at motherfucking ridiculous speed, barreling down the streets without a care, it was a shock that you both got here in one piece and didn’t get arrested. Before the car even came to a stop, you got out, slamming the door shut as your dad peeled off, storming out when you stopped for a second, a boy and his brother were standing just five feet away, shaking like motherfucking dogs after they got a bath, you felt worried for them so you approached. 

“YoU mOtHeRfUcKeRs oKaY? yOu lOoK lIkE yOu SaW a MoThErFuCkIn’ gHoSt oR sOmE sHiT….”  
The younger one in the wheelchair gave a reply first, while the older brother was giving you a motherfuckin’ stare-down.

“y-yEAH, tHANK YOU,” the younger one said. That response was the best thing you heard today, so you couldn’t help but crack a soft, lopsided smile.

“AlL rIgHt ThEn mOtHeRfUcKeR, sEe yA aRoUnD.” He gave them a polite wave and put his hands in his pockets, walking off to go get his new schedule. On his way, he wondered about the boy he just met in that chair with the sick-ass mohawk. You had seen many faces but you had never seen him around before, was he new? And what was up with his bro getting his motherfuckin’ glare on at you? You were being as nice and polite as a motherfucker could be to them both. What was with the stick up his ass? Though you figured it was a little motherfuckin’ harsh to judge him, you were a stranger to them and you were a really strange-looking motherfucker, so you guessed it wasn’t entirely too harsh for him to up and judge you. You sighed and walked up to the register lady for your classes, happy you had art, and bummed about everything else. You really didn’t like school, and most things you learned in this place were just for preparin’ for a motherfuckin’ state test the government required of you, and if you fail, you’re a stupid piece of shit. The system is hardcore messed the fuck up bro.  
You thank the lady for your schedule and go to get your picture taken, giving the brightest smile you could, then the man calls for the next person and you go off, wandering around for a while to look for your classes, it wouldn’t take long so you weren’t too concerned since you knew the campus pretty well, like the back of your god damn hand actually. So you could take your time wandering, it’s not like you had anything better to do since you had nowhere to go now.

“uH..mAYBE WE SHOULD WAIT TO TAKE MY PICTURE, tHE LINE’S PRETTY LONG AND i CAN FIND MY CLASSES EASIER SINCE EVERYONE’S IN LINE.” The voice trailed off, he recognized it instantly, wasn’t that the boy in the wheel-chair? You turned to make sure you were correct in your assumption, and you were, the boy in the wheelchair and his brother were both on their way towards you. Maybe you could try introducing yourself this time? You took a breath and walked over.  
“HeY aGaIn, I jUsT wAnTeD tO mOtHeRfUcKiN’ aPoLoGiZe fOr eArLiEr, I rEaLiZE i’M a PrEtTy gRoSs-LoOkIn’ pIeCe oF wOrK sO i PrObABlY fReAkEd YoU tHe FuCk OuT. I sHoUlD hAvE uP aNd InTrOdUcEd mYsElF fIrSt bEfOrE gEtTiN’ aLl uP iN yOuR bUsiNeSs...ThE nAmE’s GaMzEe MaKaRa.” You extended your hand politely out with a hesitant grin and the boy in the wheelchair greeted you with a smile that could light up a god damn room and a gentle handshake, you eased up on yours so you didn’t hurt him.

“i’M tAVROS, tAVROS NITRAM. iT’S NICE TO OFFICALLY MEET YOU GAMZEE MAKARA.” You both let go, and you looked to his brother.

“It’S uP aNd NiCe tO mEeT yOu tOo BrO. aNd By tHe WaY, jUsT cAlL mE gAmZeE.” You smiled and extended your hand for a shake for his older brother but he didn’t bite. “AlL rIgHt ThEn MaN, nO hAnDsHaKe, gOt iT.” The boy you now know as Tavros nudged his brother, looking at him as if he were chastising him.

“ruf1oh….” The brother replied hesitantly.

“Oh MaN, yOuR nAmE iS sO mOtHeRfUcKiN’ wIcKeD! PeTeR pAn iS sUcH a GoOd GoD dAmN mOvIe!” You replied with a genuine tone.

“thanks….” He replied with a less cold tone than before.

“yOU LIKE PETER PAN?!” Tavros replied excitedly.

“YeAh MaN, wHo MoThErFuCkIn’ dOeSn’T?” That made him laugh and you swore it sounded like motherfuckin’ angels making love, this kid was so god damn precious, it melted your broken-ass heart.  
You smiled at his enthusiasm then chuckled a little yourself, which something you hadn’t done in such a long time that it was foreign when it came out of your throat. “wHO’S YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER?” He asked excitedly.

“UhH..i WoUlD sAy RuFiO ‘cAuSe He’S sUcH a BaD-aSs bUt-I’vE aLwAyS lOvEd PeTeR pAn bRo. He’S a ChiLl MoThErFuCkEr wHo LoVeD a LoT. hE sOuNdS lIkE a BrO i CoUlD hAnG wItH fOr SuRe yO.” That made him light up and it damn near turned you into a motherfucking puddle. Did he not realize how truly motherfuckin’ cute he is?

“rEALLY?! mE TOO!” You grinned.

“YeAh. HeY, i HeArD yOu’Re NeW…yOu A fReShMaN?”

“nOPE. i’M a SENIOR, i TRANSFERRED FROM TEXAS.”

“MoThErFuCkInG wIcKeD bRo. WeLcOmE tO iDaHo. NeEd mE tO  
sHoW yOu aRoUnD?” Tavros looked up to his brother Rufioh for permission and he reluctantly sighs then agrees. “wE’D APPRECIATE THAT, tHANKS GAMZEE.” “No MoThErfUcKiN’ pRoBleM tAvRoS.” You smiled softly, “NoW, lEt’S gEt yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiN’ sChEdUlE aNd LoCkEr.” “uHH..oKAY..i-uHH-hAVE a QUETSION FIRST THOUGH….” You paused for a moment then responded, “LaY iT oN mE bRo.”  
“wELL, iT SAYS i NEED TO SHARE a LOCKER WITH SOMEONE OR i GET ASSIGNED TO a STRANGER..dO YOU UM-mIND IF i SHARE WITH YOU? u-uNLESS YOU ALREADY HAVE a PARTNER, tHEN IT’S OKAY.” He asked quietly, clearly nervous to even ask at all.  
“It’S nO mOtHeRfUcKiN’ tRoUbLe BrO, i WaS iN nEeD oF a PaRtNeR mYsElF mAn.” You replied as polite as you could, grinning kindly to him, you could tell his brother was not too keen on the idea, seriously man, what was up with that dude? Could he motherfuckin’ smell weed on you? Was that the problem? You weren’t sure, but you were going to try and figure what his deal was. “OnLy If iT’s aLl rIgHt WiTh yOuR bRo ToO.” “it’s fine. why wouldn’t it be?” He insisted. “YoU sEeM lIkE yOu dOn’T wAnT mE nEaR TaVrOs aT aLl. I gEt It MaN, i LoOk MoThErFuCkIn’ sKeCtHy aNd IrReSpOnSiBlE, bUt I pRoMiSe yOu, I’m NoT lOoKiN’ fOr tRoUbLe. YoU cAn GiVe Me tHe wHoLe MoThErFuCkIn’ TwEnTy dEgReEs.” He seemed to like this idea, and Tavros looked like he was going to die of embarrassment, what was that all about?  


“all r1ght f1ne. how old are you?” He asked cautiously.

“SeVeNtEeN.”

“What grade are you 1n?”

“I’m A sEnIoR. So TwElFtH.”

“do you dr1nk?”

“No.”

“Smoke weed?”

“YeS. I’Ve gOt A cArD fOr It.”

“why?”

“It HeLpS mY dIsOrDer?” You said back confused. “what do you have?” “If YoU gOtTa kNoW, i’M bIpOlAr. HeLpS cHiLl mE oUt wHeN i gEt aLl MoThErFuCkIn’ AnXiOuS.”

“are you go1ng to try and pressure Tavros 1nto smok1ng weed?” You looked at him incredulously but before you could respond, Tavros interjected,

“rUFIOH, sTOP. hE’S NOT GOING TO!”

“let h1m answer Tavros.” He responded firmly. Tavros sighed defeatedly.

“fINE.” 

“Of CoUrSe nOt. I kNoW tHaT iT sEeMs lIkE i WoUld FoRcE hIm tO bUt I wOn’T, hE’s A gOoD mOtHeRfUcKiN’ kId, I’m NoT gOnNa Do ThAt To HiM.”

“...1 bel1eve you….” He said hesitantly. “last question, can you dr1ve? and 1f you do have you ever dr1ven under the 1nfluence?”

“YeAh, I cAn DrIvE BuT, nAh. YoU sAw My DaD dO iT eArLiEr, It’S a MoThErFuCkIn’ sElFiSh aNd MeAn AcT. YoU cAn ReAlLy MoThErFuCkIn’ HuRt SoMeOnE.”

“good answer. now you can be locker partners with h1m.”

Tavros sighed, clearly feeling more relaxed now, “tHANKS RUFIOH, dO YOU MIND IF HE JUST SHOWS ME AROUND THEN?”

Rufioh ponders for a minute but then agrees. “..f1ne. you have your key?”

“yEAH.”

“good. be home by s1x….”

“oKAY.”

“and Makara, take good care of h1m, 1 w1ll come find you 1f you don’t.”

“rUFIOH STOP. wE’LL BE FINE, i PROMISE. JUST BREATHE OKAY?”

He does so. “all r1ght. 1’ll see you at home.”

“oKAY, i HAVE MY PHONE ON.” “good. later k1ddo.” He ruffled his hair and left.  
“JeSuS fUcK, tAlK aBoUt ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN’ sPaInIsH iNqUiSiTiOn,” you mutter, wheeling Tavros into the schedule line, he sighs sadly.

“hE MEANS WELL, hE’S JUST SO WORRIED ABOUT ME, yOU KNOW? hE DOESN’T WANT ME TO MAKE HIS MISTAKES IS ALL.”

You regret what you said and immediately apologize. “SoRrY aBoUt WhAt i JuSt SaId ThEn, It’S bEeN a LoNg MoThErFuCKiN’ dAy Is AlL.”

He nods understandingly, “i GET IT. tHAT’S OKAY. nO HARD FEELINGS.”

You smile a little “ThAnKs MaN.”  


“oF COURSE GAMZEE.”  


It’s quiet for a while as you wait, you try to rack your brain for ideas but you can’t. You hope he says something, it’s been awhile since you have talked to anyone besides your family in months and you really like Tavros, as a friend of course, he brightens up your motherfucking day like a rainbow and you barely even know him. This was proof that people were motherfucking miraculous all by themselves, they just needed to be shown that. Maybe you could show Tavros how amazing he really fucking was.


	5. Chapter 5- Orientation-(Tavros Part 2)

You have now officially met the guy who captured your interest. His name is Gamzee, he’s 17, A senior in high school just like you, he likes Peter Pan, he smokes weed just like you thought, now all you wanted to know is about his backpack that looked like it was going to burst and his make-up.  
“uHH..hEY GAMZEE?” You asked quietly.  
“YeAh MaN? WhAt’S oN yOuR mInD?” He replied gently.  
“uHH..wELL, i KNOW THIS IS A STRANGE QUEStiON BUT-aRE YOU AN ARTIST? yOUR UHM-fACE-pAINT IS REALLY WELL DONE….”  
He smiles a bit as if you said something funny and nods. “YeAh. I lIkE tO pAiNt. It’S a WoNdErFuL dIsTrAcTiOn.”  
“fROM WHAT? i-iF YOU DON’T MIND ME ASKING…. ” You trailed off, nervous you has spoken out of line.  
“NaH mAn, ‘S cOoL. i’M nOt SuRe iF yOu CoUlD mOtHeRfUcKiN’ tElL oR nOt BuT-mY hOmE lIfE iSn’T mOtHeRfUcKiN’ rOsEs. So PaInTiNg Is A nIcE mOtHeRfUcKiN’ dIsTrAcTiOn..UnTiL hE dEsTrOyS tHeM tHaT iS...”  
You honestly weren’t sure how to respond to that, they way he sounded when he told you..his home life must be hell….  
“..SoRrY fOr DuMpIn’ aLl My PeRsOnAl ShIt On YoU. i DiDn’T mEaN tO mAkE yOu UnCoMfOrTaBlE…. ” He muttered quietly, by this time, you were almost to the front of the line but you responded anyways to let him know that you still cared about what he had said.  
“oH! uHH, nO, iT’S FINE. i’M SO SORRY THINGS ARE THAT BAD FOR YOU..i-iS THAT WHAT THE BACKPACK IS FOR? dID YOUR DAD KICK YOU OUT OR ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY? s-sORRY IF I’M GETTING TOO PERSONAL AGAIN i JUST-iF YOU NEED a PLACE TO STAY…yOU CAN ALWAYS COME STAY WITH ME UNTIL YOU NEED TO GO BACK….”  
He didn’t say anything for a while but hugged you tight. “ThAnKs TaV..bUt I’m OkAy. I dOn’T wAnT tO mOtHeRfUcKiN’ iMpOsE....”  
You hugged him back gently then he let go, you were still really worried so you responded to him, “yOU AREN’T IMPOSING GAMZEE, iF YOU NEED a PLACE TO STAY. mY HOUSE IS OPEN TO YOU WHENEVER YOU NEED IT.” you smiled gently and he looked at you with complete shock, as if no one has ever been this kind to him in his life. Then his gaze softened and a gentle smile crept up on his face, something he didn’t seem to do to anyone often by the way he was acting.  
“..ThAnKs MaN. tHaT’s ReAlLy MoThErFuCkIn’ AwEsOmE oF yOu tO bE aLl HoSpItAbLe AnD sHiT. ‘sPeCiAlLy To Me…SoMeTiMeS i CaN’t BeLiEvE tHe ShIt ThAt PeOpLe SaY, lIkE, tHeY’rE sO mOtHeRfUcKiN’ mEaN bUt-YoU aRe LeGiT a MoThErFuCkIn’ SaInT mAn. LiKe, i’M aFrAiD i’M gOnNa WaKe Up AnD yOu WoN’t Be ReAl….” You looked at him sadly, as you held back a deep flush and pinched his side gently.  
“Ah! WhAt WaS tHaT fOr MaN?” He looked at you incredulously.  
“uHH-i- nOW YOU KNOW YOU AREN’T DREAMING….” You said awkwardly. He laughed deeply, though it seemed strained, as if he was hesitant to let out the noise and you smile softly to yourself for making someone happy.  
“MaN, hOw Do YoU kEeP gEtTiNg MoRe MoThErFuCkIn’ SwEeT? mY tEeTh ArE gOnNa MoThErFuCkInG fAlL oUt At ThIs RaTe.”  
You laugh sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck bashfully, trying your best not to blush. You have never been complimented like that before so it honestly flattered you and took you aback. “tHANKS GAMZEE.” You reply quietly, as you are wheeled up to the front of the line. The lady at the table asks for you name and you tell her, she hands you your schedule slip and then you both go into the locker line since you are each other’s partners now; there was silence for a little while before Gamzee spoke again.  
“So NoW tHaT yOu SoMe ShIt AbOuT mE, cAn I kNoW mOrE aBoUt YoU?” He asked curiously, being careful as he did so.  
“i-uHH GUESS THAT’S FAIR…wHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?” You replied softly, curious as to what he wanted to know.  
“WhAt BrInGs YoU hErE tO mOtHeRfUcKiNg IdAhO yOuR sEnIoR yEaR?” He asked as if he were confused.  
You took a minute to respond and when you did, it was very soft and quiet. “..fRESH START.”  
It was a small, simple response that must’ve said volumes because he caught on to your sudden change in attitude and apologized immediately, but not verbally, he just gave your hand a light, comforting squeeze then let go. You smiled gently and gave him a grateful look; as if there was an unspoken conversation between the two of you, silence was all you needed to understand what the other needed to say. A bond you had never experienced before at all, never so quickly either. When you officially met Gamzee, it felt like there was no need for introductions because in the back of your head, a little voice said “Haven’t I met you before?”” As if you’ve known him your whole life and he was as familiar to you as breathing was to the average person. It was peculiar and thrilling all at once. You guessed you were spacing out for a while because a hand waved gently in your face and you blinked out of your daze.  
“HeY mAn, YoU sPaCeD oUt ThErE fOr A mOtHeRfUcKiN’ wHiLe. YoU oKay?” He asked with a worried tone.  
“hUH-oH UHH YEAH i WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING.” You said softly.  
“YoU nEeD tO tAlK aBoUt It? No JuDgE mAn.” You could tell he meant it, which only made you like him even more.  
You had desperately needed someone to talk since the accident. Rufioh was emotional wreck and you did what you did to comfort him but you needed to be comforted too, not pitied. You were sure Rufioh didn’t mean to pity you like he was doing but, it didn’t make the fact that he was any less true. This is probably why you said what you did to him.  
“i DON’T WANT TO BE CODDLED AYMORE. i’M FINE.” You snapped at him, regretting it instantly. He looked incredibly hurt and offended by your words but said nothing for a while until he found his own voice again.  
“I’m NoT fRiEnDlY bEcAuSe I fEeL bAd FoR yOu MaN, i’M fRiEnDs WiTh YoU ‘cAuSe I MoThErFuCkIn’ LiKe YoU. sO iF yOu HaVe A pRoBlEm, I’m FuCkIn’ HeRe FoR yOu. NoT tO pItY oR mOtHeRfUcKiN’ cOdDlE yOu. I’lL bE wHaTeVeR tHe FuCk YoU nEeD mE tO bE. wHeThEr It’S a LiStEnEr, A sHoUlDeR tO fUcKiN’ cRy On, Or An AdViCe GiVeR, i’M nOt GoNnA jUdGe. If ThErE’s OnE tHiNg aBoUt YoU nEeD tO kNoW aBoUt Me Is ThAt I dOn’T mOtHeRfUcKiN’ sUgAr-CoAt ShIt. I’lL tElL yOu eXaCtLy HoW iT iS sO dOn’T eVeR tHiNk I wOn’T wItH yOu. OkAy? ” He said gruffly, you nodded, looking at him apologetically.  
“i’M SO SORRY GAMZEE..i DIDN’T MEAN TO-” You were having trouble finding your words and were nervous he was furious at you which was not making forming words easier. He wheeled you out of the line and took you aside.  
“gAMZEE-wHA-?” You asked quizzically, he silenced you before you could further protest by putting a finger to your mouth.  
“ReLaX mAn, YoU wErE gEtTiNg ReAlLy MoThErFuCkIn’ WoRkEd Up So I pUlLeD yOu AsIdE sO yOu CoUlD gEt sOmE aIr. It’S oKaY mAn. I’m NoT aNgRy At YoU.”  
His words made you calm down considerably, you nodded understandingly, and then he removed his finger from your mouth.  
“sORRY GAMZEE. i DO WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF BUT i DON’T WANT TO EITHER BECAUSE i DON’T YOU TO THINK I’M LAME OR STUPID.”  
He looked at you with shock, like he had never heard something so dumb in his life.  
“WhY wOuLd I tHiNk ThAt? YoU aRe So MoThErFuCkIn’ AwEsOmE iT’s RiDiCuLoUs. BeSidEs, LiKe I’m OnE tO mOtHeRfUcKiN’ jUdGe. LoOk At Me MaN.” He gestured to himself.  
“wHAT ABOUT YOU? yOUR REALLY COOL SO i DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN….” You were genuinely confused by his words, looking at him with honest bewilderment.  
He smiled and patted your head, “ThE fAcT tHaT yOu DoN’t KnOw Is WhAt MaKeS yOu AwEsOmE.”  
You were still really confused so got a bit frustrated and huffed out a little puff of air.  
He was amused by your actions and laughed gently, “TeLl YoU lAtEr OkAy?”  
You were satisfied with his answer and agreed. “aLL RIGHT, wE SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THE LOCKER AND OUR CLASSES THEN.”  
He nodded and wheeled you back into the locker line, luckily it had dwindled since you both had left and that made getting your locker situation figured out easier. You two made light, get-to-know-you conversation as the line receded further, joking now and then. You found out him and you had many similar interests which was a relief since you started to like him so much. It’s hard to find common interests with someone this quick. It was a nice change, you really needed a friend.  
You reached the front and signed up for a locker, got your number, and then got out of line.  
“dO YOU WANT GO LOOK FOR OUR LOCKER NOW?” You asked as he wheeled you away from the lines.  
“SuRe MaN.” He replied.  
“oKAY, wELL OUR LOCKER NUMBER IS 248…dO YOU KNOW WHAT BUILDING THAT IS?”  
“YeAh MaN. iT’s In A hOuSe. ” He answered.  
“lEAD THE WAY.” You smiled a little and made a small gesture to let him know you can both continue this journey for your locker.  
As he pushes you around, he shows you around the school, making sure you know where your classes are, then you proceeded to head to A house where most of your classes are, thank goodness, wheeling yourself place to place was hard enough, you were thankful you didn’t have to haul your chair and yourself all across this large campus. You check your phone, it’s 5:40 as of now, wow the time flew by! You had to get home soon! Gamzee was putting things into the locker, which just consisted of a few art supplies, watercolors and brushes, you saw he had colored pencils and smudges though, you supposed he just didn’t want to carry the watercolor stuff and figured this was probably the best place for it anyways.  
“HeY,” he spoke suddenly, “WaNnA sEe My ArTwOrK?”  
You did, you really did, it sounded fantastic but you had to get home before Rufioh started to worry.  
“i WOULD LOVE TO BUT I CAN’T..iT’S-” You check your phone once more, “5:44 nOW AND i HAVE TO GET HOME BEFORE RUFIOH STARTS TO WORRY….”  
He nodded understandingly. “AlL rIgHt ThEn. AnOtHeR tImE.”  
He started to wheel you out of A house and out of the school then stopped.  
“WhErE’s YoUr PlAcE aT? i’Ll WaLk YoU tHeRE.”  
“iT’S DOWN A FEW BLOCKS. dO YOU KNOW WHERE THE LITTLE GAS STATION IS?”  
“YeAh.”  
“i’M JUST DOWN THE STREET FROM IT. sULTAN DRIVE, iT’S THE ONLY BLUE HOUSE THERE. ” You explained.  
He looked at you in surprise, “No ShIt?”  
“nOPE. tHAT’S MY PLACE” You smile.  
“My BrO kArKaT uSeD tO lIvE tHeRE! i UsEd To GeT a FaYgO fRoM tHe GaS sTaTiOn AnD cHiLl WiTh HiM.”  
You blink, that was a really weird coincidence….  
“wOW..wHAT aRE THE ODDS OF THAT?” You think aloud.  
“ApaReNtLy PrEtTy HiGh SiNcE yOu LiVe ThErE.” He teased.  
You smile a bit as he takes you there with ease, he knew the way there better than you did, maybe that’s because Karkat used to live here and they were pretty close by the way Gamzee spoke about him. He sounded like a very nice guy, a bit passive-aggressive, but Gamzee said he always meant well. You wished Karkat was still here, you would have loved to meet him, granted you probably would get really nervous and say something stupid but-you were glad Gamzee had a really good friend who cared about him.  
You both finally arrived at the house, you took your keys out and unlocked the door, instructing Gamzee to wait outside until he had a chance to talk to Rufioh about the situation. He did as you instructed, waiting there patiently as you wheeled yourself in.  
“rUFIOH, i’M HOME.” You call out.  
He was on the couch and got up to greet you.  
“how was 1t?” He asked curiously.  
“gOOD.” You reply happily. “gAMZEE SHOWED ME AROUND AND i KNOW WHERE MY CLASS ARE NOW.”  
“that’s good. 1’m glad he showed you around.” He said quietly.  
“aND THE BEST PART IS, mOST OF MY CLASSES ARE IN THE SAME BUILDING AS MY LOCKER SO I WON’T HAVE TO MUCH TROUBLE AT ALL.” You smile a little.  
He doesn’t say anything for a moment then replies with a soft, “..that’s good….”  
“..uHH-yEAH….” You reply hesistantly.  
There is nothing but silence now, you were really nervous to ask about Gamzee staying because he seemed upset and you didn’t want to push it further. But-Gamzee needed a place to stay…you wouldn’t let him sleep on the streets.  
“..uHH r-rUFIOH?” You say quietly, he hears you anyways.  
“ ’sup?”  
“uHH-wELL..gAMZEE NEEDS A PLACE TO STAY AND-h-hE HAS NO WHERE TO GO..i REALLY DON’T WANT HIM TO SLEEP ON THE STREETS S-SO i OFFERED TO HAVE HIM STAY HERE..i-iS THAT OKAY?”  
He mulls over the question for a minute then sighs reluctantly.  
“f1ne. but he sleeps on the couch. 1 st1ll don’t trust h1m….”  
You want to protest against what he just said but you figured it would better not to push him further.  
“..oKAY….” you agree in reluctance.  
“you gonna let h1m 1n or what?” He asked.  
“oH! uHH-rIGHT!” You tell him to come in and give him a weak smile.  
He smiles a little back, kicking off his shoes and putting them out of the way then going to your brother.  
“HeY mAn, ThAnKs FoR lEtTiNg Me StAy. I kNoW yOu dOn’T lIkE mE n’ AlL sO iT wAs ReAlLy MoThErFuCkIn’ WiCkEd Of YoU tO lEt Me StAy. I hAvE fOoD tOo So DoN’T wOrRy AbOuT tHaT..i’Ll Be OuT oF yOuR hAiR aS sOoN aS mY dAd LeTs Me CoMe HoMe. SoRrY fOr BeIn’ A pAiN..i WoUlDn’T hAvE mOtHeRfUcKiN’ iMpOsEd If I hAd A cHoIcE.” He says softly.  
You look at Rufioh pleadingly, hoping he would be nice, Gamzee has a pretty rough life by the sound of it and he hasn’t told you anything about it really. You could just tell he was in massive amounts of emotional pain and he needed support, and so did you, which made you two have a strong bond already.  
“1t’s no problem Makara. save your food. we have plenty. don’t be stup1d. 1’m glad 1 can keep you off the streets…your dad sounds l1ke an asshole so 1’m glad we can get you away from that type of env1roment.” He muttered quietly.  
You instantly gave a breath of relief, glad for Rufioh being so kind to Gamzee, even if he still wasn’t sure about him. You smiled at Rufioh with brotherly affection and hugged his waist gently.  
“tHANK YOU.” You whispered gently.  
He made a little grunt in reply and went back to the couch, but you knew he was glad you were happy.  
You look to Gamzee for guidance as for what to do then think it over a bit yourself.  
“sO uHH-wHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO GAMZEE?”  
He contemplates your question then replies: “WeLl..YoU wAnNa HaNg In YoUr RoOm?”  
You nod eagerly, “sURE! i HAVE HOOK UP THERE IF YOU WANT TO WATCH IT WITH ME….”  
He smiles at you gently and chuckles a little, “SuRe MaN, wHaTeVeR yOu WaNt To Do.”  
You huff. “i WANT TO DO SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO TOO.”  
He laughs softly, “I wAnT tO wAtCh HoOk ToO bRo, So LeT’S dO ThAt.”  
You smile excitedly “oKAY!”  
With the help of Rufioh, you manage to get upstairs with Gamzee, it was pretty embarrassing he saw you like that but you couldn’t do it yourself yet. Your wounds were still healing.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for a short chapter. There will be longer ones in the future.


End file.
